


Till Death Do Us Part

by ifellforaquitter



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Emmerdale - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Temporary Character Death, robron - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-17 19:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14837621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifellforaquitter/pseuds/ifellforaquitter
Summary: Robert and Aaron get into a car accident. After waking up, his memories lead Aaron to believe that Robert is dead. He is scared to find out the truth and when he eventually does, what will it bring to light?





	1. Awake

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't the most original and innovative concept but I quite like how everything else turned out.  
> This will have about 7 chapters I think.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Aaron.“  
The world doesn't stop. Time goes by. Everything keeps spinning. Around and around and around.  
Aaron doesn't understand how or why. All these people not noticing. None of them even giving the slightest fuck about the fact that his own world just shattered into a million pieces.  
“Aaron.“  
'Till death do us part.' Those had been the words. He remembered a time in his life when he didn't believe that they'd actually make it this far. Deep down he had always wished they would. From the very beginnig. Even when it all had seemed so impossible back then.  
Now, he wanted to punch himself for that wish.  
“Aaron.“  
It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was too early, way too early. They were supposed to grow old together. Grey hair. Wrinkles all over their faces. Sitting together in their backyard in the most cliche rocking chairs.  
He had always resented images like this. Now, he wanted nothing more.  
“Aaron.“  
He tried to snap out of it, to focus on the voices. They were many different voices, all filled with concern. But they were too far away. Too small. Simply too insignificant.  
They kept repeating his name, Aaron, when all he could think of was Robert.  
Robert, his husband. Robert, Seb's father. Robert, Vic and Andy's brother, Robert, Liv's as good as brother. Robert, Diane's stepson.  
Robert, dead.  
And just like that everything turned black.

 

When Aaron woke up his head was pounding. He didn't know whether that was down to physical pain or the thousand images running through his head. There was a car. It was driving towards them. It was fast, too fast. In the next moment he was upside down. And then, suddenly he wasn't. Everything around him was broken. There was blood. Blood, soaking through someone's clothes. He couldn't remember the person, however. But he remembered blonde hair and the fact that it's tips were covered in red liquid aswell.  
Aaron couldn't take it anymore. He opened his eyes. 

The sudden brightness blinded him and for a few seconds he couldn't recognize anything in his surroundings. He blinked against the light. When his eyes had finally adjusted to it, he immediately knew where he was. He had been here often enough. The clean white sheets and the cold room held no good memories for him and he was sure that this would be no exception.  
After all these images it really wasn't surprising he found himself in the hospital once again.

Aaron was glad to see that noone was at his bedside. He couldn't face them yet.  
However, if he had been in an accident, he assumed his mum and Liv couldn't be too far away and that they would probably soon return to his room. 

Then, a thought occured to him. He had no idea for how long he had been unconscious.  
If it had been weeks, surely noone would stick around the hospital anymore. They would only have time to visit him occasionally. He tried to remember the date of the accident. Where was he headed when it all happened? His brain didn't seem to cooperate however as his headache felt like someone was repeatedly hammering against the inside of his skull. 

Instead, he tried to concentrate on the situation at hand.  
He wasn't wired. That was a good sign. He hadn't been in a coma. There were a few cuts over his hands. He remembered shattering glass.  
The rest of his body was covered by a blanket. Somehow he was scared to look under it.  
It can't be that bad, he tried to convince himself. You're not even connected to any machines.  
Finally, he uncovered his legs and was relieved to see that they looked almost normal. They were slightly pale, but that was it. Thinking of Jackson, he tried to move them. There was feeling everywhere inside of his body and not much of it was in pain. He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. His condition was much better than the last time he had laid in a hospital bed. 

And that was what triggered his memory. The last time, he had been at Aaron's bedside, proposing. They had gotten married before he went to prison. Then they broke up, reunited, spent the next year together and now this. One year of happiness. He wasn't even allowed to have more than one fucking year. And in addition to that he suddenly remembered it had happened on their anniversary of all days because life and bad luck just went hand in hand for him apparently.

With a small creak the door sprung open. Aaron couldn't help but flinch at the noise cutting through the deadly silence.  
He was happy to see that it was only a nurse. So no hard questions. At least for now.  
From her expression it was visible that she was surprised to see him awake. Her mouth curled up into a smile. Her eyes were warm and they settled Aaron slightly. 

“I'm sorry for intruding like this. I didn't expect you to be awake just yet. That's a very good sign.“  
Aaron forced himself to return a small smile. He didn't have it in him to be rude to her even though his mind was still on edge. 

“Well, I'm not connected to anything. I suppose that's also a good sign.“  
“Yes, very. You got away lucky.“ Aaron's face dropped. Lucky wasn't the word he'd use for the situation. The nurse immediately seemed to understand her mistake and looked horrified.  
“God, I'm sorry. Of course that's not what this is. I know it must've been awful. Look, I'm new here. I didn't mean to...“.  
Aaron signalled her to stop talking with a wave of his hand. “It's fine, really“.

The nurse nodded slowly. Then, she asked: “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?“.  
Aaron shook his head. “No, not besides a small headache.“ As he said this he noticed it was true. Ever since he didn't let his brain run wild with gruesome images the headache had almost faded.  
“I'm having problems with my memory though. Is that normal? Did I hit my head or anything?“.

“No, you didn't. That's a common effect. Don't worry about it too much. It probably has a psychological cause. Your brain still needs to process everything that happened before you lost your consciousness. It'll all come back throughout the next few days, I imagine.“.  
She nodded reassuringly though Aaron wasn't even sure he was ready for his memory to return completely. He was terrified of what it would reveal.

“Okay then. How long was I asleep for? What day is it?“. He knew he was stalling. He didn't want to ask the most importand question. He was too scared of the answer he might get.

The nurse seemed to allow him to control the conversation quite happily, however. Maybe she was dreading the question too. Maybe she didn't want to be the one to break the unpleasant news to him. Aaron banned the thought from his head.  
“It's the 22nd. You've only been asleep a few hours. Your family is in the cafeteria. Do you want me to get them?“.  
“No, no. They'll probably come around in a few anyway. I'm not going anywhere, am I?“.  
“Certainly not.“, the nurse laughed. She seemed more comfortable with him now. “I'll need to get your doctor though.“, she added earnestly.  
“Okay then.“, Aaron answered.

She smiled at him again and turned to leave. She was already at the door when she turned around again. “Mr. Dingle, one last question. What exactly do you remember about the crash?“, she asked. 

He immediately sensed where this was coming from. Obviously something had happened to Robert. He remembered that much. More, if he was being honest with himself.  
There was a chance she just wanted to tell him that he was still in danger or going through surgery.  
However, she could possibly explain that he was already dead. Maybe she was only keeping it from him to not upset him any further.  
Aaron was well aware that he was only torturing himself by not knowing, but he also knew that if Robert was fine the nurse would've told him immediately. He wasn't ready to live in a world without Robert Sugden. Even if that meant he'd have to live an illusion. 

“I don't remember anything.“, he said, “I guess I'm still a bit overwhelmed.“.  
The nurse threw him a sad smile and went out the door leaving Aaron to himself again.  
He tried to suppress his thoughts setting in but they were already running wild and heading to dangerous places where all he could see was death.


	2. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chas and Liv pay Aaron a visit and he finds out the truth about Robert's condition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2, there you go!  
> I'll update this daily.

Aaron didn't know what to do with himself after the doctor had left the room. She hadn't said much more than the nurse. They only talked about his physical health, which was mostly fine, so the conversation didn't last long. They would have to run a few tests and then he'd be allowed to leave. That was it. They both didn't want to upset him further he assumed.

Now that he was left alone all of his memories and thoughts almost seemed to drown him. At the same time he dreaded company, more specifically he dreaded seeing his family.  
They would surly tell him what happened and Aaron couldn't take it.

He already missed him at his bedside. He had missed him ever since he woke up in this room all alone. All Aaron wanted was to see his face. Robert would probably be making jokes about how they kept getting themselves into situations like these. Then he would smile at Aaron and pretend it was because of his own wit while Aaron secretely knew that Robert was just relieved to see him alive. Aaron loved Robert's smile. It was contagious and had the power to light up an entire room. It was one of the most beautiful things in the world and Aaron craved it like he craved air. More so right now.

He realized that his eyes had started to tear up and forced himself to snap out of it. He couldn't do this now.

However, the choice was taken from him when the door opened and Chas and Liv walked in.  
They were both smiling, putting on brave faces, but it didn't reach their eyes.

“Honestly Aaron, do you like to torture me? I thought I told you one car crash was enough.“, his mother said as she pressed a short kiss to his forehead. Aaron was thankful for her humourous tone. He wasn't ready for serious.

“Tell that to the bloke who hit me.“. Me. Not Robert. He wasn't supposed to know about that.  
“I'll have a word with him then.“, Chas smiled. “How are you?“.

Aaron didn't know what to say to that. It was a many layered question. Did his mum want to know about his physical health, his mental health, his emotional state or maybe just his overall wellbeing? How much did the doctor tell them?

“I'm good, I guess. Physically. Can't really remember what happened though.“.  
Chas just nodded and Aaron felt how the atmosphere in the room had shifted. He looked at Liv, noticing she hadn't said anything yet. However, he immediately regretted his decision.  
Even if he hadn't already known about Robert, her face spoke volumes. Aaron sighed. He couldn't run from this. He had never been as scared as right now when he decided to drop his act.  
His voice was small as he spoke up again.

“I know the doctor probably told you I don't remember anything at all.“.  
Chas nodded slowly while Liv just stared at him. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and forced himself to keep going.  
“That was a lie.“. He let it sink in for a second to watch their reactions, but both of them just stayed silent and waited for him to continue.  
“I know...“, Aaron had to blink away tears now, “I know why I was where I was and I know who was with me.“.  
When there was still no visible reaction Aaron couldn't take it anymore. It was like a damm had broken inside of him.

“I know Robert was there, okay? He was right next to me and then there was blood. A lot of blood. In his hair and clothes. And...and I was scared to death because I can't stand the thought of something happening to him, so I lied. But I remember thinking he's dead and I need to know beca....“.

At that moment Liv interrupted him. “He's not dead!“. And she said it so ferociously that Aaron normally would have been offended or hurt. All he heard though was that Robert was alive and suddenly everything seemed to have sense again.

However, there were still memories ghosting through his mind contradicting Liv's statement.  
“Are you sure? Cause I could've sworn...“.  
“He's not dead.“, Liv repeated in a calmer tone.  
Relief flooded through Aaron's body and he tried to stop it with all his willpower. He knew hope was a dangerous thing, but he was helpless against it.

“Where is he then?“.  
Chas answered him this time: “He came out of surgery about an hour ago. We were with him before the doctor told us you were awake. He's not out of danger yet, but they're very hopeful. Vic and Diane are with him now.“.

Not out of danger yet. Hopeful. His brain kept repeating the words like a mantra. He couldn't stop it.  
“He's alive though.“, Chas added when Aaron didn't react visibly.  
“Yeah, that's good. At the look on your faces I just assumed.“.  
“That's because he doesn't look that well. There are some unpleasant wounds, but mostly it's his paleness. We were a bit shaken. I think this one“, she pointed to Liv, “is still in shock. It's not as bad as it looks though.“. Chas spoke cautiously.

Aaron nodded. He wanted to comfort his little sister but he didn't know how. He was in no state to sugar-coat the situation.

“I need to see him.“, he said instead.

“Do you think that's a good idea? Like I said, it may only upset you more than is necessary.“

“I need to see him.“.

Chas sighed. “Okay, but let me ask the doctor first."


	3. Coma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron visits an unconscious Robert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is a bit soppy but whatever

Aaron had been standing in front of a hospital door for about five minutes. He was back to wearing his own clothes now instead of those ugly hospital dresses.  
Ever since he had been facing the door to Robert's room Aaron realized that expressing his need to see Robert had been easy compared to actually executing the action.  
He was well aware that people were staring at him by now. He must look like a crazy person. Maybe he just wasn't ready. Maybe he should come back later. 

No. That wasn't the answer. There was still a small but terrifying possibility that Robert would be dead later and he couldn't bare the thought of never seeing him again. It was now or never he decided and opened the door. 

He didn't look at Robert directly when he walked in. It was all too much.  
Instead, he let his eyes wander around the room. It was empty. Victoria and Diane had left, knowing he would need some alone time with his husband. 

Slowly Aaron walked towards the bed. He still couldn't bring himself to look at his face, so he concentrated on the shape of his legs under the blanket. Everything was where it was meant to be. No broken leg. No big, scary bandage. Aaron didn't expect any differently.  
They had told him that most of the problem was due to internal bleeding caused by a broken rib.  
He also hit his head, hence the blood in his hair, but it hadn't caused any serious damage. 

Aaron reached the place where Robert's hands lay by his side. They were still perfect Aaron noticed. Completely cutless. The ring exactly where it was supposed to be. Aaron sat down on the chair beside the bed, careful to avoid Robert's face. Then he reached out his hand and intertwined it with Robert's. He was surprised at the warmth he was met with. Somehow he had imagined him to be cold. Maybe a part of him still didn't believe that Robert was actually alive.  
Aaron shifted his gaze to the ring again and cleared his throat as if he needed to catch Robert's attention somehow. 

“Look, I know this is unfair of me to ask, since you are the unconscious one, but I really need you to be strong for me now. I can't do this on my own.“

He waited in silence. He didn't exactly know what he was expecting. Surely not an answer.  
Aaron concentrated on the feeling of Robert's hand in his and how right it was. It was stupidly cliche, but deep down he had always thought that this was the place where his hand inevitably was supposed to end up. In Robert's. If Robert was here, mentally, he would probably tell him how soppy that was. And then he would kiss him. 

Aaron felt a small tear falling down his cheek. It was the first one he had allowed ever since the accident. Somehow it made him feel better, to let it out even just that little bit. It gave him the strength to finally look up. 

When he did, he wasn't met with the horrifying image he had imagined from Chas and Liv's expressions and his own worst nightmares. There was a bandage at the side of his head, a plaster on his nose and some minor cuts here and there. It looked a bit messed up, but that was it. He assumed Robert had been paler, more dead-like, when they saw him. He looked quite good now, considering the state he was in.  
However, his mouth was covered up by an oxygen mask. So he can't breathe on his own, Aaron thought. But he's breathing. That's all that counts.

Once he looked, he couldn't turn away anymore. With all that stuff in his face Robert was still breathtakingly beautiful. Aaron lifted his other hand and ran it through his flat blonde hair. 

“You know, I actually love your hair like that. You don't like it though. So if you wanna wind me up as per usual I suggest you wake up and get some gel in there.“.  
He smiled weakly at the thought.  
“Also, you seriously need to change your clothes and put a suit on or something. Hospital clothes suit noone, not even you.“ The more nonsense found its way out of his mouth, the more emotional he got. 

“Listen Robert, I need you to wake up, okay?“ He couldn't help but raise his voice to plead. It was starting to break now but he didn't care. More tears made their way down his face. “I love you and I know you love me too. We... We are supposed to grow old together. You promised we would grow old together. And that we're gonna live happily ever after so i'm begging you. Please, please come back to me.“ 

His vision was now blurred by his tears and his breathing had gone rapid. He forced himself to calm down a little, so that nobody would come in and check on them.  
“I need you and i can't imagine my life without you.“, he added in a whisper, “Look, I'm not saying I believe in this bullshit, but if I did and there actually is such a thing as the love of your life, a soulmate, whatever you want to call it, then you are it for me. So please wake up. For me.“ 

He kept on staring at Robert for a little while until he realized that nothing was going to happen soon. Robert's presence calmed him down nonetheless. He lined up his chair next to the bed so that he was facing Robert and leant back into it. “Whenever you decide to wake up, I'll be here.“  
Their hands still intertwined and Aaron's eyes never leaving Robert's face, he slowly drifted off to sleep.


	4. Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vic visits Robert. Aaron and her have a conversation which sheds more light on the day of the accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for reading, commenting and giving kudos. It means a lot!

Sleep didn't do him any good. There were too many different scraps of images going through his mind in an order that didn't make sense at all. They weren't just about the car crash itself but the whole day before that. Robert and him had spent the entire day together, or so Aaron assumed, because he was the only person he could remember being there.  
There was only Robert, then the car crash, the car upside down, some nice fancy restaurant, Robert in bed with ruffled hair and swollen lips, green grass and then that other car driving towards them, miles over the speed limit. It's lights flickering and blinding in the dark. Then, there was nothing.

He woke trough a hand on his lower arm. At first he thought, no he hoped, it was Robert's, but he realized it was too tiny and subtle. Aaron opened his eyes and the light blinded him like before, like that day. As he adjusted to it Vic's face slowly came into focus. Her expression was filled with worry and concern. When he looked at her directly, she managed a weak smile. 

“Hey, sorry I woke you. It's just...you were tossing. Didn't really look like you were having a good time. You also haven't eaten in forever. So, since I know you and I know you're not gonna leave his side anytime soon, I brought you something“ She nodded towards a bag from David's on the table next to Robert's bed. “There's also lasagna in there. Marlon made it. Everyone's thinking about you. Both of you.“

Aaron felt a wave of gratitude towards her, taking care of him like this. He knew how much Vic loved Robert and how hard this must be for her. She already had to go through this so many times. For Robert. For Andy. She was barely holding it together, he could see that. Her eyes missed their usual spark and there were bags underneath them from lack of sleep. 

“Thank you Vic, seriously. You didn't have to.“  
“No worries. I'm used to it. This one“, she nodded towards Robert, “doesn't let a year slide without paying the hospital a visit.“ Her tone was humourous, but Aaron noticed the deep sadness beneath it all. 

He sat up in his chair and had to wince slightly as his back was hurting from spending the night there. Aaron didn't really care though.  
He let his gaze wander over Robert's face. He looked exactly like yesterday. No indication of deterioration. No indication of recovery. 

Their hands had fallen apart in his sleep and Aaron felt a sudden loss of contact towards his huband. He grabbed his hand again, Vic watching him intendly.  
“They're really positive now. His condition hasn't worsened. Even improved a little. He's stable, apparently. They think he could wake up anytime.“

Aaron managed a smile. His first genuine one ever since the accident. He remembered those early hours after waking up. A part of him had been sure that Robert was dead. But he wasn't. He was alive and he would make it through this. They would.

“You should really eat something.“ Vic added. She walked over to the bag and handed him the tin of lasagna and a spoon. “Here. You won't even have to leave that chair.“

“Thank you.“ He took it from her and started eating. Aaron hadn't even noticed how hungry he had been until now. The lasagna tasted deliciously, just like he had expected since Marlon was the one who made it. His stomach grumbled for more. At the same time another urge overcame him. 

“Vic, how is everyone doing?“ He had shut himself off for too long, his only thoughts concerning Robert.  
“Good, I guess. Paddy, Chas and Liv came around here earlier. Liv is still on edge, but she's coping. We convinced her he's going to be fine. Paddy and Chas are looking after her. You know, Chas pretends she's only worried about you, but I reckon she cares more than she's willing to admit.“  
Aaron couldn't help but smile at that. “Yeah, their relationship is a bit... complicated.“.

“Well it's Robert we're talking about. When does he ever do easy or normal?“ Vic laughed.  
They both fell into a short silence afterwards, fond memories of Robert sweeping over them both. 

Suddenly Aaron noticed that Vic's expression had turned more serious.  
“Aaron, do you remember what happened?“.  
He shook his head no: “Only snippets. It's useless really. I can't remember where we went when, what we did, our conversations. None of it. What a wasted day, right?“ He laughed bitterly.  
“We should've just stayed in bed.“

“You did until midday.“, Vic said quietly. Aaron looked at her in confusion.  
“He planned the whole day, you know? I mean, obviously he did. That's just what he does, isn't it? And he didn't really expect you to go all out there. Anyway, he told me about it the day before. He was really excited, even though it wasn't all that special: Staying in till midday, a picnic for late brekkie, driving out to Hotten in the evening, eating at a fancy restaurant. That was it. But he told me how happy he was to finally be able to spend the whole day with you. Just you and no interruption. I made fun of him then. Told him he was such a lovesick teenager.“ She grinned at the memory. “I've never seen him like this with anyone else. He loves you a lot, you know that, right?“

“Yes, I do.“ Aaron couldn't stop his eyes from watering up, all the pictures slowly falling into place. Aaron busied himself with coming up with an order for them that made sense considering what Vic had just told him. 

The both of them were too occupied with their own thoughts to notice the small movement from the head of the bed. The flicker of an eye. The flinch of a nose. The active intake of a breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone's awake, yay!


	5. Robert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert wakes up and finds out what happened in his absence.

“Aaron.“  
It was the voice that did it, that drew their attention back to reality. Aaron remembered those other voices after the accident and how they had seemed so insignificant compared to everything else.  
This was completely different though, because this voice belonged to Robert and noone else could possibly match in importance right now. Or ever.

When he looked up at Robert, blue-green eyes were already staring back at him and Aaron knew he'd never seen anything more beautiful. His eyes were only partly open and his voice had been suppressed by the oxygen mask, but he was undoubtedly awake.

“Rob!“ It was Vic that answered while Aaron found himself at a loss for words. “God, you're awake. We were so worried, you have no idea.“  
Robert's gaze shifted to his side where Vic was standing, only now noticing she was there. He wanted to answer something, but his words were drowned by the mask. Vic bent forward and gently moved it off of his face.  
“What happened?“, he asked. Aaron felt Vic's eyes on him at Robert's words. 

He knew she expected him to say something. He had been present during the accident. He was his husband after all. But Aaron couldn't bring himself to relive all of it now. Especially not with her in the room. He would undoubtedly break down and as much as he loved Vic he didn't need her to see him this vulnerable. In addition he wasn't sure he was ready to break down in front of Robert again either. Whether he was awake or not.  
Aaron felt a sudden responsibility to be the strong person here as Robert was the one who barely escaped death. 

So instead of saying something he placed the lasagna on the table and grabbed Robert's hands again. It was the only comfort he could offer him right now. Robert let him and for a short moment they both seemed to forget Vic was in the room. Aaron felt Robert's thumb stroke over the back of his hand and he couldn't begin to describe how good it felt to actively be touched by his husband again. 

Vic hesistated for awhile as Robert's question lingered in the air. She was probably contemplating whether she should just leave them to it but in the end decided against it to give her brother a proper answer instead. “The two of you got into a car accident“, she began and didn't get any further as Robert interrupted her. “Wait. Both of us? Aaron, are you alright?“

Aaron couldn't help himself but chuckle at that. It was so typical of Robert to still think of him first while he was the one on life support. It warmed up his whole body.  
“ 'Am fine. Don't worry about me.“, he said without turning his gaze away from their hands.  
“Well you know me. I can't help myself.“, Robert answered almost too lightly. 

Then he addressed his sister again: “So. Car crash. Who's fault was it?“  
Aaron noticed a decent amount of guilt in Robert's voice. He didn't think it was his fault, did he? Sure, Robert had been the one driving, but nobody could've stopped that bloke from running into them like a maniac.  
He was relieved when Vic told him as much and Robert let out a small breath. 

“Do we know anything more? Like why he did it and what happened to him after.“  
Suddenly Aaron found himself curious too. He hadn't even wasted one thought on the other driver with his husband's life being in danger and all. Vic seemed to have reacted similar as she couldn't give them any further information on the subject. 

“The police tried to talk to us and Aaron specifically after he woke up, but we didn't really let them. Wasn't the right time.“  
“What? You could've asked me at least.“, Aaron said a bit angry that a decision had been made for him. “I was alive and well.“

Vic huffed out a laugh: “Barely.“  
As Aaron only responded with an irritated look Vic was forced to clarify. “Oh come on, Aaron. Yeah, physically you were probably as good as it gets after an accident like that but you were in a horrible state. I don't exactly know how much you remembered but Chas told me that you at least lied about some of it. You were convinced Robert was dead. And you were so scared of a possible confirmation that you pretended you didn't remember for hours. I couldn't possibly let the police see you like that. It would've only done more harm.“

Aaron couldn't look at her. He didn't know if it was because of embarrassment or just the frustration at the entire situation. Instead, he shifted his eyes to Robert, a decision he regretted immediately.  
His husband's eyes were opened wide in shock and he was staring right back at him.  
“You thought I was dead.“, was all he brought out.  
Aaron sighed and nodded. He didn't mean to mention it to Robert. He knew Robert would only start to worry about him and his mental health.  
A heavy silence followed. 

None of them really knew what to say. Aaron was sure that they were all thinking about the same thing though.  
A scenario in which he would've been right in his assumptions. A dark timeline in which Robert was indeed dead. It was a much too horrifying image to just adress openly. 

Finally Vic decided it was time to give them some space. She cleared her throat.  
“Look, I'm just gonna head out for a bit. Tell everyone you're awake and also let the doctors know. I'm sure they wanna check on you as soon as possible.“

Robert ripped his gaze away from Aaron. “Yes. Thank you Vic. I'll see you later.“  
Vic smiled, moved closer to the bed and pressed a kiss to Robert's forehead. 

“Yes, yes you will. This is the last time I'm gonna let you scare me like that, understood?“

Robert returned the smile warmly: “I'm gonna give it my best. Love you sis'. “

“Love you too, you idiot. See ya later.“ Then she was out the door leaving them in silence again. 

Robert turned to look at his husband. This time Aaron was prepared, already returning his gaze.  
“I thought you were dead.“, Aaron repeated with a hollow voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this lacks a bit of robron actually communicating with each other but the last two chapters will deliver, I promise.  
> As always thanks for reading <3


	6. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert talk. Some suppressed feelings come to the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a tiny bit of Rob's perspective in here. I couldn't help myself.

“I...I didn't know.“, were the first words escaping Robert's lips after his confession. 

Aaron smiled weakly: “Of course you didn't. How could you?“

After another short round of silence Robert couldn't bear the gap between them anymore. All he wanted to do was comfort his husband and even though Aaron was still holding onto his hand, right now he felt like they were miles away from each other. It was as if they couldn't properly see through all the still unspoken things between them. 

So Robert tried so sit up to feel closer to his husband but Aaron noticed and shook his head. “Rob, no. You should rest.“ Robert opened his mouth to complain but Aaron's mind was made up.  
“Look. I appreciate the effort but I can't let you jeopardize your health after... after everything.“  
His voice cracked during the last words. Robert obeyed him immediately and leant back into his pillow. 

“Okay. But if I'm not allowed to sit up you're gonna have to lie down.“, he responded.  
Aaron frowned. “I'm not sure that's a good idea.“

“Please.“, Robert sighed, “I need you.“ He didn't care he was pleading. It was the truth. Everything inside of him craved Aaron's touch.  
And Aaron seemed to feel the same way because finally he nodded. He bent down to take off his shoes. Then he went around the bed to lie down next to his husband where Robert wasn't connected to hospital machines by wires.  
Aaron slid down carefully, positioning himself on his side and allowing Robert to embrace him with his right arm. He snuggled into the space between his neck and shoulder where he knew Robert hadn't been hurt. He also dared to place his right hand on Robert's chest very lightly. A relaxed sigh from Robert told him his gesture was appreciated. 

It took awhile for him to settle into the embrace and let himself enjoy it but after a few minutes all he could smell was Robert and his heart was full again. The emptiness that had filled him for so long had evaporated.

None of them spoke for several minutes. They lay in comfortable silence solely enjoying the other's presence until Robert spoke up again: “Why did you think I was dead?“

Aaron gulped hard. He knew he needed to let it out and Robert certainly had the right to know. That didn't make it any less hard though.

“I'm not sure. It hasn't all come back to me either yet. I think you really were dead though. At least for awhile. It must've been at the scene of the accident because I lost my consciousness afterwards. They must've revived you while I was inaccessible. I don't know. All I know is that there was a lot of blood and you didn't have a pulse. Those were some of the first images that came to me after I woke up. So.... I just assumed. And like Vic said I was too much of a coward to find out the truth.“, he let out a bitter laugh, “could've spared myself a lot of trouble there.“

Aaron let out a huge breath. He had said it all in a mostly monotone voice in order to keep himself from breaking down. It turned out it wasn't that difficult to admit the second time around.

What concerned him though was Robert's heavy silence.  
“Rob?“  
He propped himself up on his elbow in order to look at his husband properly. Something inside him stirred uncomfortably as he saw a tear running down his cheek. Robert barely cried.  
Sure, he wasn't one to hide his emotions, but he never cried. Aaron decided at this moment that he hated to see Robert cry. He didn't understand people telling their loved ones they looked beautiful crying when Robert's tears seemed to physically pain him.

Robert slowly turned his head to return his gaze. “I'm so sorry.“  
And even though Aaron had heard those words often enough to last a lifetime they seemed more honest and raw to him than ever before. As a result something suddenly shifted in Aaron's mind. The emotions he had been trying to suppress all came flooding to the surface at once. Aaron sat up on the bed to be able to talk with more force as all of his fear and frustration came out the way it always did with him. Through anger.

“You know what? You should be. How dare you let me go through this AGAIN. I already did this twice okay? Sit beside your bedside thinking you will die at any moment and i never ever wanted to do that again, you understand me? But you can't help yourself, can you? You just have to keep on hurting me over and over and over again. Do you know what the worst thing about that is? After everything I still love you more every fucking day.  
I don't even know how that's still possible but it's a problem, you see?  
Because this also makes me rely on you more. With every day that goes by you solidify yourself more into my life. You make yourself irreplacable and I hate it, 'cause I was on the brink of losing you that day, no, I actually lost you and I just don't think I could survive it at this point. But the thing that makes me so goddamn angry is that you promised me something.  
You said you'd never let me down again, that you'd never hurt me again. After everything. After Rebecca.  
But you did. You did the worst thing you could've done. The one thing you knew would hurt me more than anything else in the world. You died. And I hate you for it.“

He had to look away, at the ceiling, to be able to regain at least some of his composure.  
Tears were streaming down his face. He was sure it was completely flushed by now and his eyes were swollen from crying.  
He had started off screaming at Robert, but those last words, the ones about Robert dying, were said so quietly that he wasn't sure Robert had even heard them.  
He couldn't scream it out into the world like that though. He was too scared they would come true as a consequence. It was stupid, he knew that.  
He also knew Robert didn't deserve any of his accusations. Of course none of it was his fault.  
Aaron could've waited and lashed out on the other driver. If someone was at fault it was definetly him. He also knew it wouldn't do him any good though. That bloke was just some stranger to Aaron.  
He would get what was coming for him eventually. 

His fear at the core was losing Robert. And the fact that it existed was solely down to him. He made Aaron love him so much that he couldn't bare the thought of a life without him.  
Just a few hours ago that life had been the only reality for him and as he finally dared to take a look at Robert's shocked expression he became painfully aware of something else.  
Losing his husband was still a very prominent possibility. One way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo yeah, I had to get a bit more angst in there, sorry. Next one will be the last!


	7. Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert have a conversation about their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo last one. I enjoyed writing this a lot so I really hope you'll like how it turned out.

“Shit Rob, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to blame you. I know none of this is your fault. I mean you're the victim here. I just.... I can't think straight anymore. I love you and I....“   
He was interrupted by Robert sitting up and pulling him close into an embrace. At first Aaron was too surprised to react but eventually he let himself relax into the touch. He almost melted into Robert, the tears picking up their pace again, his hole body trembling.  
All the while Robert was softly stroking his back whispering nothing and everything into his ear.   
“It's okay. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I got you. I love you.“  
His words seemed to heal something deep inside of Aaron and it was more than he deserved at the moment.

He managed to calm down after awhile and pulled back slowly. They let their foreheads bump together, neither being able to completely let go just yet. Robert was surveying him sadly.   
He moved up his hand to Aaron's face and lovingly wiped away his tears. Aaron had to sniff and scrunch up his nose from all the crying he had done.   
“I'm sorry.“, he whispered again.

“It's okay.“, Robert smiled. Then he added: “Couldn't stay mad at you for long anyway, could I? Not when you do that thing with your nose. It's adorable.“  
Aaron pulled away slightly in an attempt to fake offence. He failed miserably as his eyes were able to take in Robert's whole face again. He was still smiling at him brightly, lighting up the hole room and Aaron's world with it. 

“What I meant with all of that“, Aaron gestured widely to refer to the minor breakdown he had just had, “was that I love you. And you'll never know just how much I love you.“

Robert cupped his face fully now, stroking his thumb over Aaron's lips. In a different situation the gesture would've driven Aaron crazy. Now it was unbelievably comforting. 

“I think I can imagine.“, he said as he moved closer to Aaron again and brought their lips together in a slow, soft kiss. Tasting Robert again felt like coming home. It felt like everything he had wanted ever since he had woken up in his hospital bed. It felt like everything he would ever want for the rest of his life.   
Therefore, he would've continued, would've let it go further, but none of them had the strength to do so right now. They reluctantly pulled away at the same time.

“I love you too. And I can't promise you that I'll be here forever. Or even for as long as you are. But I promise I'll try with every fiber in my body because I want to grow old with you. I want nothing more than to someday sit with you in a rocking chair with grey hair watching our grandchildren play in the garden. Whether you like it or not that's pretty much my goal for this life and I'll never give up on it. No matter what.“

Aaron smiled fondly at the picture Robert's description created in his head. It had the power to ban all the gruesome images from the accident that had taken a hold on him before.   
“I'd like that a lot.“, he said.

“Good. That's a deal then. Now, come 'ere. I can't keep this up for much longer.“   
Robert settled back into his pillow and reached out an arm for Aaron who happily occupied his position from before, snuggling into Robert's neck.

“We're gonna have a good life, Aaron. I'm sure of it. I mean with all the bad stuff that has happened to us there's bound to be some pretty amazing things in the future, right?“

“If you go by that logic, yeah.“, Aaron replied with a chuckle. He didn't believe in karma and he knew Robert didn't either but somehow he was still certain that there was some truth to it.   
Life had put some huge rocks into his road but it had also given him Robert. And taking into consideration everything that had happened to him while lying in the arms of his husband he couldn't help but feel like it had all been worth it in the end.  
He had Robert.

And Aaron may not have known it back then but he would have Robert for a very long time to come. So long that at one point he would make jokes about getting sick of him after all these decades. None of those jokes would ever have any truth to them though.

Other words, however, would fulfill their meaning in a way they always were intended to:  
“I will love you and I will cherish you till death do us part.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who took their time to read this, it means a lot! xx

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on tumblr :)


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